I'm fully aware that it sounds silly to say I fear change when I just made a huge move. The thing is, I was scared then too. But not this kind of scared. I moved a ton when I was a kid and over the past five years, we've moved a lot, so I feel like an old hand at it. As I write this, I wonder if it's silly at all. I was scared about making the move here and did have to address a lot of fears, especially around whether it was the right thing to do. I probably spent two months in a state of anxiety. The thing that's truly strange is that I've totally forgotten about all of that.
The locus of my fear right now is about my job. I was going to say my career, but let's be honest, it's really a matter of a simple job change and I'm not sure whether it's the right thing to do. I'm bored silly at work right now and because I'm working from home I miss out on the office chatter. I really really miss being around people - far more than I thought I would - and I'm having issues with motivation. There is the potential to change jobs (it may not even come to fruition) and I find myself wishing for some kind of sign (by sign, I mean a clearly written email from God telling me what to do in this situation). I am afraid that if I make the change it won't change how I feel about work right now - I'm unmotivated and really don't have the energy to try really hard. I'm afraid if I do go it will mean being stuck in the same role forever, without the opportunity for growth from within the company. I'm afraid if I stay, I'll be here forever. I've been unhappy with my current job for such a long time that it's become a familiar friend almost.
This is pretty rambling today, but I wanted to let you know where I'm at.