Saturday, September 29, 2012

I'm in a Crazy Time Warp

This window has been sitting open for three days. I'm not sure what to say exactly. I am getting used to the booze in the grocery store and almost don't notice it now. I think black holes have developed, whereas when I first went in everything was so new and unfamiliar that my brain was on overdrive to catalog the location of everything.

I've also gotten back into my running schedule, which is really nice. Because we're now at sea level, I've magically shaved a minute of my mile without any effort at all. I also randomly met another runner and we now have an informal meetup on Tuesdays. It's not a perfect system: last week I got a late start and didn't catch up to him until the end of my run. Which meant I got a really fast time!

The one thing I am missing is more social contact. Now that I'm home alone all day I find myself battling inertia a lot more than I did before. It's funny because I was working from home when I quit drinking, which was perfect (no distractions, no stress), but now it just seems empty. Soon I'll be working again - I hope that makes a difference.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Is There Wine Everywhere? Or is it just me?

I don't know how any of you, my dear American readers, were able to get sober here. It seems like every single store devotes at least 25% of their inventory to alcohol. The Mike's Hard Lemonade is right next to the Nestea Iced Tea, which is in the pasta aisle. I really feel like everywhere I turn there is more booze.

With two years of sobriety, I'm able to keep on walking. But back in the beginning, I fear I would have caved and fallen down more times than I can count, because even a benign trip to the grocery store would have provided ample opportunity for the 'I'll start tomorrow,' or 'I'll just have one.' logic game.In Canada it's fairly easy to cut yourself off from it - just stay out of the liquor store. Temptation removed.

I guess it's not really accurate or fair to say that about myself. I mean, there was booze in my house for ten months after I stopped drinking and I didn't drink it. After a while, I didn't even notice it was there. I developed a bit of a blind spot for it, I guess. I hope the same thing will happen here, with this. Because it's deeply unsettling to me to see all of those boxes piled to the ceiling. It would almost be as shocking to my system if there were pictures of naked women scattered all over the grocery store.

I will keep going. I won't drink. But hats off to all of you who managed to get through a simple grocery shop without cracking under the pressure.
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