Over the past ten days I've noticed a subtle shift in my energy levels and mood as a result of cutting out added sugar altogether. I feel more grounded and more stable. The first three days were really hard. I was so used to my afternoon and evening sugar pick-me-up that I felt a bit crazy, but after that I really didn't even want it. Which was great.
However, on Friday I had dessert after dinner. This led to cookies on Saturday (which weren't even very good). And then on Sunday I ate chocolate covered caramels, which were good. It doesn't really matter that I fell off this particular wagon, but I did notice something particularly troubling. It is this: while I was washing dishes on Friday, I started to tell myself that dessert once a week was perfectly fine and totally normal. Saturday, I decided that it made total sense to eat sugar on the weekends as long as I wasn't eating during the week. And the logic of this progression felt incredibly comfortable - it's exactly what I did when I was drinking. I knew with great certainty that within a few weeks I'd be back to feeling crazy and tired and jangled from eating sugary snacks every single day. Proof occurred on Sunday when I decided I'd start again Monday and used the excuse to cram in as much junk as I could handle.
So, I'm back on it. It's weird. I find it somewhat difficult to take this seriously, because it's not as bad as drinking. However, I do know that increasingly studies are showing a link between sugar consumption and a host of diseases. I also know that sugar and nicotine are both stimulants. In order to kick the smoking habit, I need to work on that overall dependence on stimulants. So it is important.
On another note, I spent the weekend worrying about work. I get the distinct impression that some people don't think I'm doing such a great job. I was working myself into asking my boss if this is true, when I remembered that what other people think of me is none of my business. Moreover, if I want to really address any concerns, I need to go directly to the source, rather than continuing a "he said, she said" tendency that's rampant in my company. I felt much better once I remembered both things - I just wish I'd remembered this on Saturday so that I could have had a more relaxing time.